*Updated Feb 28, 2018
Do you ever feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle when you try to make a change in your life? I definitely do. So often it feels like one step forward, two (or ten) steps back.
To help you (and me) gain some traction, here are five important things to remember:
- Clear space to welcome in the new.
Before charging ahead with going after your goal, stop and evaluate if you have the space available in your life to welcome it in. Is there anything standing in your way or occupying that part of your life already?
If you’re bogged down with clutter (and when considering this, remember to consider all types of clutter — physical, spiritual, and emotional), there’s no room for your dreams to manifest.
Let’s say you’re running a business and you’re looking to increase your profits. When was the last time you cleaned out your filing cabinet?
Looking for love? How often are you stalking your ex on social media?
If you don’t create the space for change, it’s not going to take it upon itself to squeeze its way into your life.
If the idea of adding another client folder to your filing cabinet is aggravating because your hands get cut up trying to shove new ones in there, you’re energetically keeping business away.
If you’re stalking your ex, sleeping under the same blankets you did as a couple, or being a sounding board about his or her new relationship, they’re taking up your relationship seat and no new love wants to sit on their lap!
Instead of pursuing new business leads, schedule a time in your calendar to clean out old files. Doing so is a strategic marketing move often more effective than any sales pitch.
Or arrange a pick-up from a charitable organization to give you a deadline to purge clothes, household items, books, CDs, DVDs, etc. I did this recently with the Epilepsy Foundation. It took me less than five minutes to initiate a pick-up using their website scheduling tool.
To clear the relationship area of your life, take 15 minutes to conduct a silent visualization and cord cutting ritual to finally say “sayonara” to your ex and his or her energy. To do so, follow these simple steps:
- Find a place where you won’t be interrupted or distracted.
- Get comfortable, and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Feel your feet on the floor, your butt on the chair. Feel your shoulders relax with each exhale.
- Repeat until you feel as centered as possible.
- With your eyes closed, picture a cord running between yourself and your ex (or your father, your friend, your old boss, whomever it may be sitting in that seat). If you’re having trouble seeing it, take a few more breaths.
- Describe to yourself what the cord looks like. How long is it? How thick? What color is it? Is it dangly and loose, or stiff and taut? What is the consistency like?
- Once you have a good, clear image in your head, now is when you want to cut the cord. You may choose to imagine the hand of God coming down and cutting it. Some like to call upon Archangel Michael to come with his sword of light to sever the connection. Choose a symbol that works for you.
- Once the cut is made, visualize the cords being sent up into a beam of light to transition into love and peace.
- Stupid Small Steps
We all know that trying to go from no exercise to resolving to workout five days a week is a recipe for disaster, but what people often forget is that any small action toward change stirs up the energy and shows the universe that you’re serious this time.
As you think about the shifts you want to make, brainstorm the small steps you can start with. For example, if you want to improve your financial health, start by setting up a system to make bill paying easy.
If that feels too big, start by getting in the habit of sorting your mail as soon as you bring it in the house: recycling what can be discarded and organizing what needs your attention. Either of these steps puts positive energy toward your goal of abundance.
If the action step you’ve come up with feels overwhelming or you find yourself avoiding it, it’s likely an indication that it’s simply still too big. Break it down even further. Sometimes you’ll need to break down the steps to what seems like a ridiculously small move — I call these “stupid small steps.” It’s all good. Any action is good action.
And what’s really cool is that these very small steps have a snowball effect. The more little moves you make, the faster the energy builds and the sooner you get into the flow. The more often you show up to your side of the universal dance, the sooner she steps back, and before you know it, you’ll be tangoing your way to success!
- See your resistance for what it is.
When you find yourself coming up with all sorts of convincing reasons why you can have “just one cookie,” that you don’t have time to start your meditation practice today, or that you’ll set aside time tomorrow to look at your bills, remember that your fear’s main goal is to keep you right where you are — even if the change you want to make is for the better. If it is something different, it’s an automatic ‘No’ for your fear.
Instead of battling against this procrastination or resistance, see it for what it is — a scared child. This young part of you simply needs reassurance that you’re not running away and abandoning it as you move toward change. He or she needs to know that you have every intention of taking him or her along with you to a healthier, happier life, and that you’ll safely lead the way.
By partnering with your resistance, you can come together to form an incredibly powerful team.
- Seek the right support.
A key to success in making any kind of change is support. Find a safe, encouraging, and healthy person to support you, cheer you on, hold you accountable, and offer fresh insights.
Be very selective when choosing this person or these people. Some people in your life may not like the idea of you making a change as it becomes a mirror for them and highlights what they’re not doing. You want someone who is in it for your highest good and can act as your mold when you’re feeling a bit shaky. This person may be a friend, family member, therapist, coach, or sponsor.
Just remember — choose wisely.
- Revisit and revise.
You may find that the goals you set previously aren’t quite the right fit anymore. This is actually great progress as this realization alone speaks to forward movement in becoming more and more connected to who you are at a soul level.
Maybe you’ve come to see that the vision you had was one you thought you “should” have instead of one that really matters to you. Great — revise your intentions and dreams and start from where you’re at.
Just like seeing your resistance for what it is, this is an opportunity to practice loving kindness toward yourself and acknowledge the clarity that allowed you to realize a goal is no longer for you.
While taking all of this into consideration, remember to be gentle on yourself. No healthy and permanent change ever comes from a self-punitive place. The more you can be kind and compassionate toward yourself, the more easily change will happen.
Finally, when you feel stuck in the mud, use this mantra question: “What if this was easy? What would it look like?” and then answer it. This can often prompt creative thinking that your frustration would otherwise block.
Now I want to hear from you:
- Where do you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and getting nowhere?
- What do you believe is tripping you up?
- What would it look like if it were easy?
Let’s chat in the comments below.