Sorry, You Can’t Have It All

I’m gonna kick off this week’s letter with what may seem like a harsh truth bomb:

You can’t have it all.

Sorry, my friend. You just can’t.

And nor would you want to.

In theory it sounds awesome, right? “I want to have it all!” But the thing is, you want to define what “all” means to you.

Because time is finite.
Your energy is finite.
Your mental capacity is finite.
The space in your home is finite.

There isn’t room for everyone and everything, and if you try to shoe-horn it all in, your life erupts in clutter.

Clutter in your home.
Clutter in your head.
Clutter in your heart.

And that’s a big part of what stops you from leveling up your life — spending time and energy on things that don’t support your big goals.

If you took on my challenge from last week, you’ve already made some good moves to address some of this physical, mental, and emotional clutter. If you missed that post, click here to read it.

This space you created is sacred and needs to be treated as such. Instead of filling it back up with a bunch of shit that drains your energy, reserve it for thoughts, things, and people that are aligned with and support the highest vision you have for your life.

If you find you’re still cramming your calendar, closet, or consciousness with things and commitments that pull you away from the trail you want to blaze, ask yourself why that might be.

What could possibly be the benefits of holding on to clutter? (Warning, some more possible truth bombs below):

  • You get to blame others for your unhappiness.
  • You don’t need to set boundaries.
  • You can play the “poor me” card.
  • You don’t have to risk making others mad.
  • You get to be seen as amenable and easy-going.

Now let’s flip that coin over. What are the consequences of keeping the clutter?

  • You continue to surround yourself with people who will remind you that your needs don’t matter.
  • You rarely experience true joy.
  • You spend your life chasing the elusive “someday”.
  • You send a message that you only want the crumbs and it’s the crumbs you shall get.
  • You end up resentful and pissed off.

Think about how much time you spend on things you don’t care about or with people you’d rather not be with. (Maybe even with people you don’t like – c’mon let’s call a spade a spade.)  What would you tell a friend or loved one who was doing the same thing? Who you heard say again and again how much she wants to improve her life only to not do anything about it?

When you take stock of how precious your life is, you’ll become much more selective about what or who you let in. Only the best tribe mates, the best fitting and feeling wardrobe, the best thoughts are eligible.

This week, I challenge you to make a list of any clutter that you know is standing in your way. Stacks of papers? An unfulfilling marriage? Extra pounds on your body? Then choose one area and come up with a super small step to make progress on it.

You might decline an invitation, shred some old files, or play with some language so you can be honest and vulnerable with your partner about your needs.

Life is short. Let’s not delay another day!

2 replies
  1. DIANA E HOPPE
    DIANA E HOPPE says:

    Totally agree! Can’t wait for SOMEDAY to happen. Need to seize control TODAY!
    Sometimes, tough love is the best advice – even with ourselves! Thanks so much! – Dr. Diana Hoppe

    Reply

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