time is on your side

Time Is On Your Side

Once a month, a group of us, which I lovingly refer to as “The Chew Crew,” get together for dinner. It’s our commitment to each other to connect, regardless of how busy life gets. During our night, there’s a ton of laughing, poignant sharing, loving support, yummy food, delicious wine, and laughing – did I mention laughing?

What started off as an email by a friend suggesting we all meet for dinner one night has now turned into a regular occurrence. At the end of each gathering, we pull out our calendars and schedule the next. It’s as important of a commitment (if not more) as any business meeting or doctor’s appointment. time is on your side

Life is busy. No shocking revelation there. What is shocking is how many of us get caught up in the rapids and keep planning our happiness for “someday”. Well, life is also finite and fragile, and my friends and I had talked about getting together for dinner, but our schedules always seemed to crazy; until we chose to make it a priority.

Of course, reading this post is a great way to spend some time ;-), but what else you are doing today? What are you looking forward to? Anything you’re dreading? Got some “shoulds” going on?

Your time is so precious. It’s yours. You’re in charge of how you spend it. Yes, sometimes you’re dealt obstacles and challenges, but that doesn’t mean you’re out of choices. You always have the opportunity to put some self-care in the mix and to get your needs met.

I’ll often hear people say, “There just aren’t enough hours in the day.” Sure there are. You just need to be more selective with how you use them. If my friends and I didn’t schedule the next dinner at the current one, it would be more challenging, for sure, to coordinate our schedules. But by being proactive, we’re successful in fulfilling our important commitment to each other and ourselves.

I have plenty of days where my goal is to carry out certain tasks or projects, then the day gets away from me and I wonder where the time went. By looking back, however, I see that I chose to do housework instead of writing that new client offer. Since when did laundry become so enticing?

If there’s something you want to accomplish but you’re finding that everything else is more interesting or pressing, then there’s a payout to you not moving toward your goal. Take a moment with that statement. Yes, there’s a benefit to you being stuck, otherwise you wouldn’t be.

In my experience, and from my hundreds of conversations with clients, I’ve found that procrastinating is almost always a form of protection. Maybe you’re intimidated by what the project entails. Perhaps you’re a bit frightened of what completing it could mean. What if you go for it and it’s not all you had hoped? You might be afraid to try and fail.

It’s like the school kid who doesn’t study for a test, so if he doesn’t do well on it, he can blame it on not studying. If he had studied and really applied himself and still not done well, he’d have to face the pain of perceived “failure.”

Don’t let your fear determine your fate. What might you be protecting yourself from? You’ll probably need to dig a bit deep to get to the source. Try some free writing – open your journal and let the thoughts flow.

Start with the question, “What’s stopping me from __________ (working on that project/making the phone call/declining the invitation/writing that next chapter, initiating a group outing, etc). Even if you start out your free writing with “I don’t feel like doing this. This is silly,” it will get the ball rolling.

To admit that your life isn’t the way you want because of your choices can be a tough pill to swallow. It can also be incredibly empowering. It’s your decision which perspective you’ll subscribe to.

OK, you’re up! What are your thoughts on all of this? Are there things you’re avoiding? Where could you use some support? Let’s dive into this conversation further in the comments section below.

6 replies
  1. Debbie Catalfamo
    Debbie Catalfamo says:

    Dear Kerri, I’ve been receiving your emails for months now and I just want to let you know that you truly do have a gift of motivating! Thank you for that. Oh, and I really love your new “Picture” you look like you’ve got a secret and no one else knows what it is, very sweet, I just Love it, as well as your story behind that particular photo. thank you for being you…Blessings to you, Debbie <3

    • Kerri
      Kerri says:

      Thanks so much, Debbie! I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and for your very kind words. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoy the posts. I hope to share as many “secrets” as I can. 🙂

  2. Debbie
    Debbie says:

    This article really hits home for everything that is mentioned. I can`t seem to be able to de-junk and organize rooms in my house since my children have left home. The last one left in May this year.
    I find that I have no ideas on how to decorate the rooms once I have de-junked. I don`t know where to start.

    The same goes for organizing events with friends for outings.

    I`m also afraid to finish any of my paintings.

    • Kerri
      Kerri says:

      Hi Debbie,

      Hmm, sounds like not doing some of the things you mention wanting to do is really helping you to feel safe in the stuckness. Perhaps it would help to break things down into really, really small steps, making sure to pay particular attention to what comes up for you as you make progress. That’s the most important part, I find, especially when we’re resistant to move forward on something.

      My guess is there’s a part of you who feels a bit scared, exposed, and/or vulnerable. It’s a big deal when your kids leave the nest. Maybe you fear that by getting rid of physical stuff, you’ll feel less “held” and comforted. Give some love to that scared part of you and let her know you have her back. It’s safe for her to come out and play because you’ll always be there for her.

      I hope that helps!

  3. Chris
    Chris says:

    Great reminder on time and priorities. I find that when I buckle down and dig into something I’ve been avoiding, I usually *create* time. Often it’s not as bad as I thought and simply starting it will open up new sources of time and creativity.

    Love the dinner idea, too. What a great way to spend an evening.

    Thanks for your words as always Dear Kerri!


    • Kerri
      Kerri says:

      Thanks for joining the conversation, Chris. Great point. The energy we use in avoiding and resisting something is always so much greater than the energy it takes to do it. Getting that chi or energy moving stirs up all sorts of good stuff!


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