I recently had a marathon FaceTime chat with a best friend. Even though she and I are very close, I still tend to hold back when it comes to opening up. It’s nothing personal to her. I do this with most everyone.
I’m working on getting better at asking for help and relying on others for support. I have a blocking belief, that’s very resistant to being flipped, that tells me I’ll be disappointed if I reach out. The whole, “if you want something done, do it yourself” mentality, along with “people aren’t willing to support you.” It’s quite lovely a combination.
However, during this FaceTime chat, I went there with my bestie. I almost couldn’t help it, which was welcomingly weird. Guess what happened? I felt heard, understood, loved, and supported. Because she is similar in her discomfort in opening up, she went there, too.
And, once again, I’m reminded how much vulnerability deepens relationships (click to tweet). Being vulnerable is a powerful, and scary, practice.
When my Little One is running the show, she’ll lean on incapable people who end up validating my blocking belief. Because the status quo feels safe to her, she continues to go to the hardware store for milk (as they say in Al-Anon).
Having the experience of actually being supported feels quite foreign to her. She can have next-morning regrets with thoughts like, “Did I really say/share that?” “Now that she knows you’re needy, prepare to never hear from her again,” etc.
Logically I know this to not be true, but that’s what my scared Little One says to try and keep me rooted in the blocking belief. Instead, I’ll remind her that she’s safe with me and she can trust my judgment when it comes to opening up to people.
And boy does she need that reminder a lot!
Here’s your challenge for this week:
Think about what kind of loving reminders your Little One needs. Where do you hold back in your life? Where do you feel stuck? Ask her what she needs to trust you more in those areas.
Find a way to quiet the noise for a few minutes so you can hear her as clearly as possible. For example, you can explore this in your journal, during meditation, or while taking a walk.
Then, come join the conversation on my blog and get support around strengthening your relationship with your Little One. When the two of you work together, there’s no stopping you!
Until next week, keep taking those small steps to Live Out Loud.