I’m writing this on a plane heading back home after a truly magical vacation in Belize. Prior to my departure (typical of anytime I’m getting ready to fly somewhere), my anxiety kicks up. I’m quite a nervous flyer, mostly in anticipation. As someone who takes comfort in being in control, the idea of sitting in a metal tube with a stranger at the wheel with my life can be the definition of hell for me.
In preparation for this adventure, I spent time doing some tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) work with my sister, Cheryl, who, by the way, is a master at facilitating the practice. A powerful shift happened during our session. While it sounds simple and common sense, it hit me at a very deep level.
Through the rounds of tapping (the points are shown in the image, with #7 that’s not shown being on the side of your body just below the armpit), I had a moment when we focused on permission to feel whatever it is I am feeling. While that concept isn’t new to me, the tapping took it to a whole new place. Absolutely whatever I was feeling, we tapped on it being completely ok, saying things like:
“Even though I want to be able to know in advance when every bump will happen during the flights, I completely love, forgive, and accept myself.”
“Even though I hate how long the travel is going to be, I completely love, forgive, and accept myself.”
“Even though I’m already looking forward to being home and I haven’t even left yet, I completely love, forgive and accept myself.”
Then we moved to the contradicting statements, as we moved from tapping point to tapping point:
“I hate this anxiety.”
“I don’t even want to go.”
“I can’t wait for my trip.”
“It’s ok to feel whatever comes up.”
“It’s not ok to be afraid.”
“It’s totally fine being afraid.”
“I love my anxiety.”
And so on.
I felt an incredible wave of acceptance, calm, and love pour over my body and soul. It’s as if Little Kerri exhaled completely and collapsed into my loving arms. It was truly magical.
Nearing the end of my vacation, some more subtle anxiety started to surface as I anticipated the flight home, so I did some tapping on my own. Fearing that it wasn’t going to help since I didn’t have Cheryl with me to help, I let myself be with those feelings by using statements like:
“Even though I don’t really know the right words to use when I do this, I completely love, forgive, and accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t think this will work this time since I’m not as skilled at it, I completely love and accept myself.”
And what do you know? It worked! And fast — within 1 minute I felt myself relax.
We often hear the advice to simply allow your feelings – something I’ve always struggled to do. However, with the EFT approach of just stating your feelings, followed by a reminder of my love and acceptance of self no matter what, it feels much more doable and effective.
The loving acceptance of all feelings or thoughts offers an incredibly soft place to land. It’s becoming a go-to tool for me to connect with my Little One and remind her that I love her unconditionally, fears and all.
It’s as if EFT puts into practice one of my favorite Byron Katie quotes, where she says (I’m paraphrasing): “I don’t let go of my feelings, I welcome them in and they let go of me.”
There’s incredible peace in not dissecting your feelings or using your mind to understand them. They’re a messaging system. Do your best to let them deliver the message and let them be what they are – a guidepost to self-love and acceptance.
So what feelings do you resist or try to fix, analyze, or understand? Would you be willing to give EFT a shot? To read more about how to go through the tapping routine yourself, click here.