I’m a Sensitive Sponge

 
I recently won tickets to a Duran Duran concert being held at a casino in a nearby state. I was so excited! As a teenager, I was obsessed with this band, and the stars never aligned for me to see them live. Until now.

To add to the nostalgia and excitement, two good friends from high school who were equally infatuated were also going to the show, so Missy and I arranged to meet them for dinner beforehand at one of the casino’s restaurants.

The show was only a few days after winning the tickets, so fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long, though it felt like an eternity. The day finally arrived, and on our two-hour drive down, I blasted all the old songs from my childhood, sometimes to Missy’s chagrin.

We arrived a little early, and walked around the casino a bit. We strolled about, stopping to watch some table games in progress. We even played a bit on the slot machine. We gambled a whole $20. Yeah, big spenders. Casinos aren’t really our thing.

We finished up on the gambling floor and headed to the restaurant. We found some big, comfy chairs nearby and settled in. Missy was talking about something, but I have no idea what because I was focused on what felt like a heavy, soaked blanket of sadness that had been draped on me. As she spoke, all I heard was something that sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher: “Womp, womp, womp, womp.”

Suddenly, I began to cry. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Being in and walking through that casino just really affected me. The room felt so full of sadness and desperation, and now I feel like it’s all over me. I just need a moment.”

After closing my eyes and taking some deep breaths, I pulled my energy back into my body and was able to be present again. After dinner, knowing we’d have to walk through the casino to get to the show, I pictured myself surrounded by a beautiful bubble of light before entering the room. I didn’t want my dream night ruined because I’m a sensitive sponge! It totally worked and I had a BLAST. Duran Duran looked and sounded as good as ever!

Missy has always known how sensitive I am, and lately, she’s really beginning to understand (as am I) just how much more deeply I’m feeling other people’s energies. The more I open up to and trust my intuition, the more I realize that I need to be super conscious about protecting it.

She’ll often joke with me when we’re having dinner out and she sees me making up stories about people’s energy. If I see anyone — particularly an elderly person — eating alone, I’ll decide that they have no one in their lives and they are as sad as sad can be. She’ll see me looking in their direction, and nudge me. “Cut it out.”

There was one time when I was in line at the grocery store, and there was an older gentleman in front of me buying crackers and two cans of dog food. I had myself convinced that he was going home to be alone and eat dog food paté for dinner. Really, Kerri? I giggled to myself as I realized I was doing it again.

Just because I’m picking up on their energy in that moment doesn’t mean I have to come up with an entire play of their lives. But isn’t that what our heads do? It’s our brain’s job to answer questions. If I think to myself, “Oh that person feels sad,” my brain immediately wants to answer the “why”. Because if I know the “why,” then I can fix it. No? Not true?

If I were a superhero, I’d be Absorption Girl, swooping down with my cellulose cape to suck up your feelings and carry them with me forever. But boy, does that cape get saturated and heavy fast. So now, instead of making up my version of strangers’ life stories, I silently send them love and blessings. And I always remember to offer a smile.

Oh! Lookie here! I just took a break from writing to read one of my daily Notes from the Universe. Guess what it says? “To fix the world, Kerri, you must first see it as broken. I’m not so sure I’d go there, The Universe.”

Perfect.