Melissa and I just completed our move from Massachusetts to Maine and it’s been a process filled with surprising thoughts and emotions. While I expected to feel a bit shaky because, well, “change,” I was surprised how similar it felt to grief.
There were days when I struggled to hold onto a thought; days when I felt terrified; days when I thought moving day would never come; and days when I was lost in daydreaming about all the ways we would design the new space.
It’s been an unpredictable roller coaster ride!
Change is scary. And exciting. And scary.
It can make you question your sanity, decision-making ability, and strength.
Because that’s what expanding looks like.
That’s what stepping outside of your comfort zone feels like.
To hold space for Little Kerri, I reminded her often that I’d take good care of her; that I wouldn’t expect her to do any of the “adulting”; and that if we found we were unhappy in the long run, we’d find a new trail to blaze.
Some days I hardly needed to reassure her at all while other days it’s all I did. And when I didn’t have it in me, I’d lean on Melissa. (I’m so lucky to have her).
Navigating change requires courage, vulnerability, self-compassion, patience, empathy, and a willingness to ask for support.
I know… that’s a tall order! But when you fight against any of it, you end up slamming the brakes, turning around, and going back to the same old, same old while pining for something different.
While allowing yourself to be right where you’re at is likely not your default, it’s precisely what will get you through the toughest parts. Our feelings need to be expressed to settle down, yet too often we try to fix them or figure them out. That’ll never work.
After all, you can’t think your feelings no matter how hard you try.
So whatever you’re up against right now that may feel scary or have you doubting your ideas or decisions, take a minute to check in with yourself. Get out of your busy head by closing your eyes and connecting with your breath.
Try it now.
Take three, deep, slow breaths.
Then find a safe space to feel what’s coming up for you. That might be your journal, through a guided meditation, or with a trusted loved one.
The more you honor where you’re at, the more you learn to trust yourself. Then those big moves you want to make in your life won’t feel as scary.
You got this.