“I feel like I’ve been kicked back 10 steps,” my client says with exasperation. “I’ve been making such great progress in so many areas, but now feel like I’m back at square one.”
Marybeth (not her real name) has been working hard, breaking down long-held blocking beliefs, healing past wounds, and committing to her craft consistently. The hurdles she’s up against feel like a universal shitstorm, undoing years of dedication. However, I encourage her to consider a different perspective.
“What if this current wave of challenges is a graduation of sorts?”
“Huh?” she says, sounding confused.
“Stay with me here. What if that beautiful universal force that is always available to support us sees how strong you’ve become; how willing you’ve been to show up and take action, that it believes you’re ready to take things to the next level?”
“Hmmm, even considering that possibility makes my body and energy soften a bit,” says Marybeth.
We’ve all had those periods where you’re going along swimmingly, feeling like you’re making great progress on life’s journey and on your emotional work, and then curve ball after obstacle after funk is piled onto you and you wonder what you did to deserve it. But what if, instead of wondering what you did to “deserve” it, you reflect on what you did to “earn” it?
This different perspective can create a powerful shift that allows you to reclaim some power over the situation instead of spiraling down the victim rabbit hole.
Think about how you would have reacted to these hurdles before the important progress you’ve made. See if you can identify the thoughts, defaults, and coping mechanisms that are now a part of your toolbox versus the old ones. Are they more self-loving and supportive? Does your approach now reinforce acceptance and love more often than self-defeat and abuse?
While none of us will ever be completely “fixed” or perfect (how boring would that be anyway!), acknowledging your growth is an integral part of your healing and thriving. The universe will acknowledge your success both with wonderful gifts and opportunities, as well as challenges to kick things up a notch. So if you’re feeling aggravated and defeated right now, I congratulate you. Happy Graduation!
Now, I’d love to hear your thoughts on all of this. How does this perspective resonate with you? Can you look back over a recent challenge and try to see it as a testament of your progress? If not, what thoughts are getting in your way? Let’s keep chatting in the comments below.