Want To Escape? Hold Up a Minute…

Imagine this:

You’re really fed up with your job, and you have been for a while. Your dream is to quit, flipping off your boss as you leave with your box of personal items. You’ll figure out how to support yourself once this stress is off your shoulders.

You call your sister to share your woes and your plan to vamoose!

“Do you really think that’s such a good idea, what with not having another job lined up?” she says. “Maybe you should try to make your work situation a little better so you can stick it out while you hunt for something else.”

Your heart sinks. Sure, that might be smart, but you just can’t stand it there anymore.

Next, you call your friend who is a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kinda girl who is drowning in debt.

“Oh yeah,” she says, “you need to get the hell outta there. They don’t deserve you. Life is too short to put up with that bullshit.”

Ah, now that’s what you wanted to hear. Should’ve called her to begin with.

It’s so tempting to look for encouragement from someone who will support your sometimes irresponsible choices. Better than facing some difficult truths, I guess.

I remember when we were buying our first house. We found one we loved, but it was just a bit over our maximum budget. We had several people telling us to be careful; that we don’t want to stretch the budget in case something unexpected happens financially.

We really wanted the house, and all it took for us to get over the teetering was one phone call with someone telling us to go for it.

Even though we knew our remaining savings wasn’t nearly enough to cover any big, unexpected financial blows, we were so tied to the outcome of owning this house that we chose to look past that.

One year after buying the house, Melissa was laid off and I lost a large client who accounted for about 35% of my monthly income.

Lesson learned the hard way. But here’s what’s important: the lesson is much bigger than “don’t buy a house above your maximum budget.” The real lesson is “don’t bury your head in the sand about your money mindset.”

When you’re contemplating a move that, on some level, you know isn’t wise but seems like the best way out, think about what the “out” is that you’re looking for. Dig deep here. Go beyond the first few ideas that come up.

Take the job situation, for example. Let’s say one of your issues at work is the condescending way your boss talks to you. By not having a conversation with her to let her know it’s not OK to speak to you that way, and instead, choosing to quit, there’s a very good chance you have boundary issues elsewhere in your life, and will have them at your next job.

Hence the expression, “Wherever you go, there you are”. You mustn’t run from the lesson. It’ll just follow you.

Next time you find yourself wanting to run away, in any capacity, look beyond the perceived solution to your situation and find the core problem you’re hoping to get away from. When you take the time to work on that, you’ll bump up against the struggle less and less along the way.

So here’s your challenge for this week:

• Identify an area of your life where you’ve buried your head in the sand, are avoiding something, or where you are eager to run away.
• Ask yourself, “What might really be going on here?” and brainstorm with a pen and paper. Write down anything that comes to mind.
• Come up with one small action you can take to work on the source issue, and take that action ASAP.
• Now come up with the next step.
• Wash, rinse, repeat.

By drilling down the core of it, you’ll be paying important attention to your spiritual maturity and your commitment to a full life. Your journal is your friend. 🙂

Until next week, keeping taking those steps to Live Out Loud.

Photo credit: Thomas Hawk via VisualHunt.com / CC BY-NC