Is Your BHAG Lame?

I received an email from someone considering my new program, Design Your Dream Life and she raised a great question. I thought I’d share my response with you this week because I have a sneaking suspicion you might be thinking along the same lines.

She wrote:

“My BHAG (big, hairy, audacious goal) is to add an in-law apartment on my house and move my mother in. She doesn’t want to live alone anymore and I don’t want her to. Not very sexy is it? What kind of ‘trailblazer’ am I?” she asked.

My response:

“Um, a rockstar, kick-ass trailblazer,” I replied to her. “Here’s the thing — there is no measurement you must reach to be a trailblazer.

There’s no ‘You must be *this high* to ride this ride.’

A trailblazer is someone who works to get clarity on what she wants and goes after it. Along the way, she comes upon blocks, obstacles and debris and she bushwhacks the shit out of them.

Whatever the BHAG is that you’re working toward is entirely up to you.

Having a vision of your mother living with you in her own independent apartment but close enough so you can help her is pretty badass.

It’s badass because it brings you joy.

It’s badass because caring for your mother in this way lights you up.

And it’s badass because it matters enough to you to have reached out to me.

It sounds like your first step in achieving your BHAG is to believe in yourself and stop comparing your dream to anyone else’s. They can have theirs. You have yours.

Your next step is to figure out how you’re going to make this happen. And that’s what Design Your Dream life is all about.”

I smiled when I saw her registration come through because I know she is primed and ready to make this dream happen. And I’ll be right here cheering her along as she does.

How often do you write your goals off to being too safe or lame compared to others?

A cool thing to do when that happens is to ask yourself the following question:

Are you worried about what others will think of your goals or is it that someone else’s goal excites you more?

If it’s the former, some work is needed either on you believing in your dream and/or on setting boundaries with naysayers.

If it’s the latter, dig into what it is about the other goals that make you a bit envious. Do they make you want to kick yours up a notch? If so, great! Go bigger!

Take a guess how many people scoffed or rolled their eyes when I told them I was building a tiny house?

A lot.

Did it make me question my vision? Sure.

But it was really just an invitation for me to check in and be sure I was still solid in my idea. If their reactions shook me at all, it was clear my foundation needed shoring up.

There will always be those who don’t get your vision and those you’ll compare your vision to. Either way, let it be the spark that ignites action, whether that action is revising or solidifying. Otherwise, those people and your thoughts and feelings about them become clutter on your trail. And ain’t no badass got time for that.