Top 5 Ways To Be an Energy Vampire

You’ve likely heard the idea that you are the average of the five people closest to you. As you consider who those people are, are you satisfied with how they’re representing you? Conversely, how might they think of you as one of their five?

If you can’t be bothered with high-functioning, good quality friendships, I’ve got a surefire way for you to be rid of them. Simply follow the five steps below to guarantee you’ll be surrounded by commiserators and victims.

  1. Spend more time complaining about what’s not working in your life than you do taking action to improve your situation.
  2. When someone is doing or has something you desire, knock them down a few pegs by diminishing their success. Here’s some language:  “Sure, I guess she seems happy on her vacation. Ya know, if you’re into that sort of thing.”
  3. When friends come to you for support, turn it around and make it all about you, saying something like, “Oh, you think that’s bad, wait’ll you hear this…”
  4. Never take responsibility for anything. Instead, be sure to blame your boss, society, the President, your parents, your third grade teacher, or the jerk who cut you off.
  5. Judge or question everything. If someone shares a new idea with you, tell them straight away why it won’t work or how foolish it is. Remember, if it’s not something you’d do, it’s wrong.

Should someone try to help you see a different perspective or put a positive spin on any of the above, walk away immediately. You don’t need that kind of joy in your life.

Now I’d love to hear from you. Did you identify with any of the above behaviors? In yourself? In people in your life? Energy vampires are often just operating from a place of pain or fear. If you see yourself in any of these traits, what might you be afraid of? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Until next week, keep taking those steps to Live Out Loud.

Photo credit

2 replies
  1. KateE
    KateE says:

    #3: I really dislike the term “making it all about yourself” cause most people are all about themselves.
    #4: NO ONE EVER wants to take responsibility for anything! Period! Add to that, that NO ONE EVER wants to apologize either because somewhere they read among the millions of books out in the world that apologizing makes a person look weak. Whoever said that is full of it, if you did something wrong, hurt someone’s feelings, fess up and take responsibility, put your big pants on and apologize as it shows character of who you really are.
    In closing good friendships are hard to find unless your willing to be a doormat.

    • Kerri
      Kerri says:

      Thanks for joining the convo, KateE. Sure, we have to make ourselves a priority, and we also need to balance that with being supportive and available for others. Energy vampires have a hard time giving space to anybody else.

      Some of the thoughts you shared actually sound like beliefs that might be tripping you up — any blanket statements like, “No one ever wants to take responsibility,” or “No one ever wants to apologize,” or “Good friendships are hard to find unless you’re willing to be a doormat.” When we hold and live by beliefs like this, we’ll prove ourselves right. You may have lots of people in your life who prove those statements right because we need to keep validating beliefs in order for them to exist. The best way to be surrounded by emotionally healthier people is to start challenging those beliefs. Check out this post I wrote about flipping beliefs:

      You needn’t be a doormat, and if you are, that is hardly a good friendship! You deserve better!


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.