How to Find Sneaky Clutter

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I recently started seeing a new therapist, and let me tell you, it’s been a powerful and eye-opening experience. She has this incredible ability to hear things in my words and experiences that I just can’t see myself.

You know how it is—we all have those invisible scripts or stories we tell ourselves about situations, which color our perception of reality.

My therapist sees through all that and has helped me realize how often I interpret things based on those old narratives rather than what’s actually happening.

The power of objective support cannot be overstated, amiright? 🙌

Helping You Uncover Hidden Challenges

I have the privilege of doing the same for my clients and community members.

Take Amanda, for example. She came to me wanting more balance in her life and, specifically, a fulfilling romantic relationship. Amanda is successful, adventurous, and sociable, but despite her efforts, she struggled to meet the right person.

Like many women, she felt time slipping by and worried about ever getting married.

(Sidebar: Isn’t women still facing pressure about marriage timelines frustrating? Patriarchy, right? 👀)

Practical Steps and Deeper Exploration

At first, Amanda and I looked at practical steps like tweaking her online dating profile or letting friends know she was interested in meeting someone. But then we dug deeper.

I asked about any current difficult relationships in her life, and she mentioned a needy sister who monopolized a lot of her time.

Anytime she was driving somewhere, Nancy would call Amanda and expect her to listen to endless small talk, never considering if Amanda was even interested.

She just assumed Amanda would take care of her dog when she was away and would dump on Amanda about her work aggravations.

Amanda constantly catered to her sister’s neediness, leaving no energy for a partner.

But there’s the thing – Amanda allowed this to happen by not setting boundaries.

Setting Boundaries and Making Space

“No wonder you can’t meet a good guy,” I said. “Your sister fully occupies your relationship seat.”

You could practically see the lightbulb go off. “Wait, so I’m dating my sister?”

With a giggle, I clarified, “Not quite, but she is gobbling up the energy you’d put toward a partner.”

So we devised a plan for Amanda to set some boundaries, like not always answering the phone when Nancy called, waiting longer to text her back, or having a script to gracefully end calls when Nancy started dumping her woes on her.

Establishing boundaries is often shaky at first, but as we restructured the relationship, Amanda felt freer and more energized. And surprisingly, her relationship with Nancy deepened.

Just two months later, Amanda met her now-husband! 💕

Clearing Sneaky Clutter

I encounter situations like this all the time in my work. Clients often can’t see the real clutter getting in the way of what they want, and like my therapist does for me, I look past their stories to find the source.

As Amanda discovered, when you clear relationship clutter, you make space for your life to truly bloom, whether you’re seeking love, deeper friendships, or more authentic family connections.

Could You Use This Powerful Support?

I consider myself a master at finding creative solutions for others – it’s one of my superpowers. If someone tells me there’s no way to do something, I’m like a dog with a bone. 🐶 Bring me a challenge, and I won’t let go until we’ve cracked it.

Now imagine having this kind of support for yourself.

I currently have two openings in my private coaching practice, and one of those spots could be yours.

Whether you need help with goal-setting, creating action plans, overcoming obstacles, boosting confidence, or identifying and clearing your sneaky clutter, I’m here to help.

You can read more about my coaching program here: https://kerririchardson.com/services/

If you have any questions, send me an email and I’ll be happy to help. 📩