Deepen Relationships with Others and Yourself with this Powerful Practice

I recently had a marathon FaceTime chat with a best friend. Even though she and I are very close, I still tend to hold back when it comes to opening up. It’s nothing personal to her. I do this with most everyone.

I’m working on getting better at asking for help and relying on others for support. I have a blocking belief, that’s very resistant to being flipped, that tells me I’ll be disappointed if I reach out. The whole, “if you want something done, do it yourself” mentality, along with “people aren’t willing to support you.” It’s quite lovely a combination.vulnerable

However, during this FaceTime chat, I went there with my bestie. I almost couldn’t help it, which was welcomingly weird. Guess what happened? I felt heard, understood, loved, and supported. Because she is similar in her discomfort in opening up, she went there, too.

And, once again, I’m reminded how much vulnerability deepens relationships (click to tweet). Being vulnerable is a powerful, and scary, practice.

When my Little One is running the show, she’ll lean on incapable people who end up validating my blocking belief. Because the status quo feels safe to her, she continues to go to the hardware store for milk (as they say in Al-Anon).

Having the experience of actually being supported feels quite foreign to her. She can have next-morning regrets with thoughts like, “Did I really say/share that?” “Now that she knows you’re needy, prepare to never hear from her again,” etc.

Logically I know this to not be true, but that’s what my scared Little One says to try and keep me rooted in the blocking belief. Instead, I’ll remind her that she’s safe with me and she can trust my judgment when it comes to opening up to people.

And boy does she need that reminder a lot!

Here’s your challenge for this week:

Think about what kind of loving reminders your Little One needs. Where do you hold back in your life? Where do you feel stuck?  Ask her what she needs to trust you more in those areas.

Find a way to quiet the noise for a few minutes so you can hear her as clearly as possible. For example, you can explore this in your journal, during meditation, or while taking a walk.

Then, come join the conversation on my blog and get support around strengthening your relationship with your Little One. When the two of you work together, there’s no stopping you!

Until next week, keep taking those small steps to Live Out Loud.

3 replies
  1. Mary
    Mary says:

    Hi Kerri,

    Thanks for the great post on how vulnerability is the magical energy that creates true connection between people, which is what deepens relationships!

    We must be on the same energy plane since this is the exact topic i just wrote about last night for my first blog post for my new website: http://marygiuliani.net/vulnerability/embracing-vulnerabilty/

    Thanks for sharing your vulnerable self! You inspire me and all you touch to share our authentic selves and voice with the world!

    Love and Hugs,
    Mary

    Reply
    • Kerri
      Kerri says:

      Thanks, Mary! Vulnerability sure is a magical and terrifying thing, eh? Thanks for sharing your post on the topic, too. Here’s to feeling safe while feeling scared. <3

      Reply
      • Mary
        Mary says:

        You are so welcome Kerri! Once I was willing to walk through the fear of being judged or rejected by sharing my vulnerable, less than perfect self in my relationships, a whole new world of connection and belonging opened up for me!

        Reply

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