[dc]O[/dc]nce a month, a group of us, which I lovingly refer to as “The Chew Crew,” get together for dinner. It’s our commitment to each other to connect, regardless of how busy life gets. During our night, there’s a ton of laughing, poignant sharing, loving support, yummy food, delicious wine, and laughing – did I mention laughing?
What started off as an email by a friend suggesting we all meet for dinner one night has now turned into a regular occurrence. At the end of each gathering, we pull out our calendars and schedule the next. It’s as important of a commitment (if not more) as any business meeting or doctor’s appointment.
Life is busy. No shocking revelation there. What is shocking is how many of us get caught up in the rapids and keep planning our happiness for “someday”. Well, life is also finite and fragile, and my friends and I had talked about getting together for dinner, but our schedules always seemed to crazy; until we chose to make it a priority.
Of course, reading this post is a great way to spend some time ;-), but what else you are doing today? What are you looking forward to? Anything you’re dreading? Got some “shoulds” going on?
Your time is so precious. It’s yours. You’re in charge of how you spend it. Yes, sometimes you’re dealt obstacles and challenges, but that doesn’t mean you’re out of choices. You always have the opportunity to put some self-care in the mix and to get your needs met.
I’ll often hear people say, “There just aren’t enough hours in the day.” Sure there are. You just need to be more selective with how you use them. If my friends and I didn’t schedule the next dinner at the current one, it would be more challenging, for sure, to coordinate our schedules. But by being proactive, we’re successful in fulfilling our important commitment to each other and ourselves.
I have plenty of days where my goal is to carry out certain tasks or projects, then the day gets away from me and I wonder where the time went. By looking back, however, I see that I chose to do housework instead of writing that new client offer. Since when did laundry become so enticing?
If there’s something you want to accomplish but you’re finding that everything else is more interesting or pressing, then there’s a payout to you not moving toward your goal. Take a moment with that statement. Yes, there’s a benefit to you being stuck, otherwise you wouldn’t be.
In my experience, and from my hundreds of conversations with clients, I’ve found that procrastinating is almost always a form of protection. Maybe you’re intimidated by what the project entails. Perhaps you’re a bit frightened of what completing it could mean. What if you go for it and it’s not all you had hoped? You might be afraid to try and fail.
It’s like the school kid who doesn’t study for a test, so if he doesn’t do well on it, he can blame it on not studying. If he had studied and really applied himself and still not done well, he’d have to face the pain of perceived “failure.”
Don’t let your fear determine your fate. What might you be protecting yourself from? You’ll probably need to dig a bit deep to get to the source. Try some free writing – open your journal and let the thoughts flow.
Start with the question, “What’s stopping me from __________ (working on that project/making the phone call/declining the invitation/writing that next chapter, initiating a group outing, etc). Even if you start out your free writing with “I don’t feel like doing this. This is silly,” it will get the ball rolling.
To admit that your life isn’t the way you want because of your choices can be a tough pill to swallow. It can also be incredibly empowering. It’s your decision which perspective you’ll subscribe to.
OK, you’re up! What are your thoughts on all of this? Are there things you’re avoiding? Where could you use some support? Let’s dive into this conversation further in the comments section below.