Kerri Richardson



This is the column where, each week, I’ll be answering one website visitor’s question in hopes of supporting all visitors through shared (and likely, relevant) challenges, triumphs, and struggles.

Dear Kerri,

About a year ago, I left a regular corporate job and went into business for myself. I work out of my home as the only member of my company. Things are going really well, however, I find myself second guessing my decision. Financially, business is very successful, and I love the flexibility in my schedule and the independence. Sometimes, though, I find my motivation and energy level dipping. Now that the somewhat frantic pace of getting the business established has mostly wound down, I’m often slow to get going and procrastinating a bit; even occasionally missing my old job, which to my logical mind, seems nuts since I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Do all new entrepreneurs go through this dip and what can I do about it?

Signed,
Perplexed in Poughkeepsie, NY

Dear Perplexed,

Congratulations on making the successful transition to entrepreneurship! That is quite a feat, and you should be proud!

It sounds like now that things have settled a bit, the quieter energy is allowing you to be with yourself more and with the busyness less. Depending on your personality, that can be a blessing or a curse.

When you’re feeling low energy, do you like to refuel with quiet alone time or by being around people? Some really need solitude to rejuvenate and feel “clicked in” again. Others, and this happens a lot with solopreneurs like yourself, the isolation that can come with running your own business out of your home can be a bit daunting.

My guess is that it’s not your old job you are missing, but the social connection of having co-workers. Give this a shot: Over the next week, choose two days when you can spend a couple of hours working from a local coffee shop or your public library. Try to stay at least two hours there, and while you’re there, as well as after you’re home, take a few moments to check in to see how you feel. I bet your mood will be lifted and you’ll feel much more motivated. Sometimes we just need to be in the energy of others without needing to engage in chit chat or conversation.

If you find that this “dip” that you’re feeling persists and begins to interfere with your daily get-up-and-go, you might consider seeking the support of a good therapist. You can ask for referrals from your primary care physician (if you really connect well with him or her), friends, family, or your insurance company. Giving yourself this gift of a full hour where you get to talk things through with an objective professional is invaluable. Take some time to write down your ideal qualities in a therapist, and be sure to interview a few to find a good match.

Best of luck to you in your business and in your ongoing self care!

Cheers,
Kerri
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To have your question considered for Ask the Coach, simply send an email keeping the following guidelines in mind:

• Be specific. Make sure your question is clearly stated to prevent any misinterpretation. That way, you’ll be sure to have your specific need addressed.

• Keep it under 150 words. Any emails longer than the specified limit will be ineligible for selection.

• You only need to send your question once. While only one of the emails sent in a specific week will be answered, I’ll be keeping eligible emails for possible use in future columns. Be sure to keep checking back each week, not only to see if yours was selected, but to also check out the one that was. Chances are each week’s question can pertain to your life in some way!

• Only emails selected for publication will be answered. Due to the volume received, I am only able to answer the weekly selected question.

• By submitting a question, you are authorizing its use on this website.

• Submissions may be edited and/or shortened for content and length purposes.

To read the archive of Ask the Coach, click here. To submit your question, go ahead and send an email

This is the column where, each week, I’ll be answering one website visitor’s question in hopes of encouraging and inspiring you all through your shared (and likely, relevant) challenges, triumphs, and struggles.

Dear Kerri,

With the school year coming to an end and my four, beautiful children home for the summer, how can I balance patience, love, fun and me time without losing my mind? My hope is for us all to have an enjoyable summer and make some great memories to laugh about in the fall.

Signed,
Sweating the Summer

Dear Sweating the Summer,

Good news! You’re way ahead of the pack to even be thinking about a plan. Many parents just grin and bear it, and forget themselves for the summer. Just because it’s school break for the kiddos doesn’t mean your needs get shelved for a couple months.

Try and keep somewhat of a “norm” for the kids. They’re used to being around their peers — interacting, playing, and learning. And they’re used to the rigidity of school schedules and demands. By letting the pendulum swing in the complete other direction — meaning a summer full of free, unstructured time — you’re asking for trouble.

Avoid long periods of time where the kids are just hanging out at home. They’ll be bored and you’ll be aggravated — a recipe for arguments. Are there programs or camps in your area that you could have them participate in to keep some sort of routine during parts of the break? By being thoughtful about their summer activities, they’ll continue to be engaged and you’ll get some time for yourself.

Remember to include yourself in the planning of summer fun. Schedule some girls’ nights out, date nights with your spouse, maybe even an overnight visit to a friend or family member.

Creating happy memories stems from being together out of excitement and desire, not guilt and obligation. So while you’ll most likely be spending some time this summer doing things that aren’t necessarily on your bucket list, by making sure you take more time for yourself than you think you need, you’ll be able to be more joyfully present for those activities that matter to your kids.

Here’s to a summer of fun!

Cheers,
Kerri
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To have your question considered for Ask the Coach, simply send an email keeping the following guidelines in mind:

• Be specific. Make sure your question is clearly stated to prevent any misinterpretation. That way, you’ll be sure to have your specific need addressed.

• Keep it under 150 words. Any emails longer than the specified limit will be ineligible for selection.

• You only need to send your question once. While only one of the emails sent in a specific week will be answered, I’ll be keeping eligible emails for possible use in future columns. Be sure to keep checking back each week, not only to see if yours was selected, but to also check out the one that was. Chances are each week’s question can pertain to your life in some way!

• Only emails selected for publication will be answered. Due to the volume received, I am only able to answer the weekly selected question.

• By submitting a question, you are authorizing its use on this website.

• Submissions may be edited and/or shortened for content and length purposes.

To read the archive of Ask the Coach, click here. To submit your question, go ahead and send an email

Do you often find that no matter how hard you search to find it, time remains elusive? Feel like you don’t have the “oomph” you need? The culprit may be energy drains that are invisibly tugging at you each time you come across them or even think about them.

Imagine your day. You wake to the startling sound of a blasting alarm clock. You drag yourself out of bed and, like every other morning, trip over the stack of magazines on your bedroom floor. As you shuffle to the bathroom you grumble, “I’ve got to go through that pile.”

You enter the bathroom to splash much-needed water on your face, and are greeted by the drip, drip, drip, of the faucet. In the back of your mind you hear, “I’ve got to get that fixed.”

After you’re dressed and ready to go, you get into your car, pushing aside empty food containers and coffee cups to get to the seat. You start the engine, look at the dash, and notice – No gas!

Upon your arrival at work, the I-wake-up-talking co-worker greets you with any news of the day, including traffic and weather reports, even though your body language is clearly delivering the message that you’re not a morning person.

You get the picture. Can you pick out the energy drains listed in only the first hour of your day? Here’s a hint – they’re any part you read that made you feel aggravated.

The annoying sound of your alarm, the stack of magazines, the drip of the sink, the messy car, the empty fuel tank, and the chatty co-worker are playing a large part in what is depleting your energy day after day.

And it’s not only the annoyances present that are slowly sucking you of your life-force. It could also be what’s missing. Are you happy with the relationships in your life? Do you have a good, solid friend you can share time with and rely upon? Is your home environment just as you want it to be – filled with beauty, whatever that means to you?

To help you identify what energy drains are in your life, make a list of 10 things you are tolerating, such as the dripping sink or the messy car. Now make a second list of 10 things that need handling in your life, such as the dentist appointment you should make or the complaining friend you need to have a loving conversation with to get her to stop dumping on you.

Make a commitment to eliminate three things from your toleration list and two things from your need-to-be handled list every week. When the lists are done, make new ones. Before you know it, you’ll have more energy to spend time with those you love, to charge after those long held-off dreams and goals, and to take better care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Now imagine your day. You wake up to your favorite music. You climb out of bed and start the day with a full, deep breath and a nice, big stretch. You could walk to the bathroom with your eyes closed because you know there’s nothing you’ll trip over. You step into your beautiful bathroom that’s decorated just the way you like, and everything is in perfect working condition. You climb into your clean, fueled-up car and off you go to work where you have made your needs gracefully clear.

Don’t you feel lighter just thinking about it?

Image by Caitlinator