I’m heading downstairs to get some breakfast when my left foot slides out in front of me while my right foot stays planted, resulting in a full-on split with my back leg twisted.
Not knowing whether anything is broken, I take a couple deep breaths and pull my leg around to the front. OK, no broken bones. Phew.
After hobbling down the last few stairs and collapsing into a chair in the living room, my body goes into, what I imagine is, shock. I feel tingly from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Sweat gathers on my brow and upper lip. I feel nauseated and lightheaded.
I tap my collar bone (a la EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique) to interrupt the panic signals in my body in hopes of calming my system down, while my brain simultaneously runs through a million thoughts.
Who can I call?
Do I need to go to the hospital?
Oh sure, just when I started taking classes at the gym, this happens.
Take some deep breaths and brush yourself off. You’re fine.
Call Melissa and let her know what happened. Be sure to let her
know you’re fine and don’t need anything.
No one likes needy people.
People don’t like you when you’re needy.
You’re on your own, kid.
Suck it up.
Whoa, nothing like some trauma to bring blocking beliefs to the surface.
Situations like these are complicated. One part of me feels totally able to receive. I mean, I can’t walk after all. Being needy is justified here. (And it has to be justified, don’tcha know).
Another part of me is already drafting up the tally sheet so I can be sure to repay anyone who lends a helping hand.
On the way to get x-rays, I apologize to Melissa for the hospital not being closer to home; for interrupting her day; for needing a wheelchair to get into the building. Little Kerri is running the show and this needy shit feels really uncomfortable to her.
For the next several days, as I’m stuck at home, leg propped up with ice, I realize there’s a lot more healing to be done than just my knee — healing on which I thought I had already done enough work. Clearly, there’s more to go.
A twisted knee may take a week or two to mend. Blocking beliefs that I’ve held for the majority of my life? This could take a while.
The good news is my blocking belief healing begins the moment I open my eyes to it, and continues as long as I pay attention.
Hopefully it won’t take another tumble down the stairs.