Let Yourself Off the Hook

I once had a boss who drove me bat-shit crazy. She was clueless about what went into the work we did, and looked foolish when she’d try to instruct us on how to do our jobs. She was the walking example of the often-used business approach of continuously promoting those who can’t get the job done to get them as far away from the work as possible.

I can get pretty riled up at the sight of injustice, and while that’s certainly a good thing when it comes to people being mistreated, it can sometimes spill over into insignificant situations, i.e. my boss’s incompetence.

When-you-unhook-from-theI wanted to leave this job for years before I finally did. What kept me stuck there? The energetic hook of my frustration with my boss. Those days when I could leave my fight at home and go to work with the intention of being civil to her were much more peaceful and went by much more quickly.

The more I focused on having these kind of days, the more I could really see myself giving my notice. Instead of commiserating and bitching with coworkers, I vented to my  journal. I practiced sending her love and blessings instead of anger (that one was really hard!) Although I didn’t totally believe that this approach would serve me well (I really wanted to be pissed off!), I did it anyway. Soon, my dedication paid off, and I quit.

Hindsight, of course, is always 20/20, and I can clearly see now that those actions were the key to my freedom. As difficult as it was to unhook from the drama, doing so taught me a lot about handling future tricky times. Had I quit out of aggravation and as a means to escape, I would have found myself in a similar situation in no time. After all, wherever you go, there you are. 😉 Is there a situation in your life right now where you’re getting tangled up in anger, frustration, or drama? Maybe you’re…

  • Feeling unsupported by a friend or family member.
  • Feeling mistreated by a boss or coworker
  • Fed up with computer crashes
  • Annoyed with a noisy neighbor

Whatever it may be, people-related or otherwise, if you long to have it behind you, the best thing you can do is loosen your energetic tie to it. Giving it less fuel will help it to die out.

Take a moment and consider how you can reclaim your power by giving less attention to the source of your annoyance. It’s your call whether you make yourself miserable or set yourself free. I recommend the latter!

I’d love to talk with you further about this and support you. Join the conversation in the comments below!

Until next week, keep taking those small steps to Live Out Loud.

4 replies
  1. Sam
    Sam says:

    I completely connect with the cycle of staying in the drama. At times I convince myself “this time I have every reason to feel angry, frustrated an critical”. But this hurts only me, currently a portion of staff are out on strike. I choose not to strike, because it so draining. The light comes from the immediate staff that work with me are kind, loving an completly present. Thanks Kerri, todays message really speaks to me.

    Reply
    • Kerri
      Kerri says:

      Thanks for joining the conversation, Sam. It takes a lot of courage to choose your own path. It’s so powerful to remember that in each and every moment, we get to decide if we’re going to be miserable or peaceful. Sounds like you’ve made a conscious decision to choose peace. <3

      Reply
  2. sharie
    sharie says:

    this came at the very time i need it. There is a woman an acquaintance that is a new member of our church group. She has been driving me crazy! She is very needy first off and I had taken time from my own family several times to run to her rescue. Trying to be a christian and help her out as best I could. but the demands just got worse and worse. Mean while she would tell me She did not believe what the church taught and she was not going to remain a member and then she would flip flop back and forth.
    Well I blocked her from my phone for a few weeks and they were very peaceful. I did not attend church on those Sundays either do to UN foreseen circumstances not avoiding her cause she was not going to attend anymore. Well she was there when I was not. She sent a card to my home that my husband opened and said was wonderful and he kind of shamed me for not talking to her. So I UN blocked her and saw her this past Sunday. She started in with the Drama immediately. I had to talk with her about her crisis at home. I told her to kick her abusive adult son out of the house. She and her present husband are elderly and her son is mental health issues and is threatening them and taking advantage.
    She promised she would.
    Then she said that Sunday after church he was much kinder to them both.
    She wanted me to take her places but I did not give into her neediness this time. I am cleansing right now and have three adult special needs sons I care for 24/7.
    I still made my self unavailable to her and now today she said again that she was not attending our church anymore. I blocked her again and I am done. Done with her drama and her wishey washy craziness. Oh yea her husband supposedly had a stroke last week which was a lie. after she called several people crying to them it turn out to be angina from the stress her son put on him. She has some of the Paranoid Schizophrenia herself I am sure. She took her self off all her meds right after i introduced her to essential oils. We worked together at church I am the chorister and she was the Pianist. I felt for her issues but the more I helped the needier she became. and she contradicted herself constantly. I had to put up with my own crazy family I grew up in I dont have to endure hers

    Reply
    • Kerri
      Kerri says:

      Thanks for sharing, Sharie. After reading your story, I think you’ll really enjoy my most recent post (just published today) about letting someone have their own experience so you can have yours. You’ll find it here: http://kerririchardson.com/speed-bump/

      The best thing you can do for this woman is step aside and focus your care on yourself so she can proceed on her journey. Together, let’s send her love and light! <3

      Reply

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