Last week, I taught a writer’s workshop at a local bookstore. A great group of folks came together to learn, share, and challenge themselves.  The part of the evening I enjoyed the most was when participants spoke up in support of each other.

I loved the united feel in the room, and I knew, with each supportive word they offered each other, that vulnerable part of themselves was hearing it, too. It’s so great when we can learn from each other, especially when we don’t realize it’s happening.

As a result of that experience, I’ve decided to offer a virtual, monthly writer’s support group. The telegathering will be limited to 25 people, and each month will have a topic to which a portion of the call will be devoted. The rest of our hour together will be spent on questions and answers.

We all share many of the negative voices that come up when we try to move forward with our writing. Who am I to deliver this message? Why does anyone care what I have to say? There’s already so much out there on the topic I want to write. There’s no room for me. And so on, and so on. Those voices are just one example of the ways we block our progress, and the most important thing to remember is that trying to push through the resistance will get you nowhere.

So, let’s unite in support of our creativity! In that vein, our first month’s topic will be “What’s Stopping You?”, and will be held on Wednesday, March 24 from 9 PM-10 PM EST. I hope you’ll consider joining me and sharing the invitation with the writers in your life.

For more information and to register, click here.

Last week, I was witness to the incredible power of nature and the discomfort and joy of being almost completely disconnected from email, internet, and telephone.

As I sit quietly in my family room, I hear the wind howl and pick up strength slowly and consistently over the hours. Having heard no predictions of hurricane-force winds, I just think it’s an exceptionally breezy evening. That is until I hear strange noises outside.

I look out my dining room window and see roof shingles on the hood of my car. “Well, that can’t be good,” I think.

The lights begin to flicker and I know it’s just a matter of time before the power goes out. I shut down my computers, gather up flashlights and candles, and prepare for the disconnect. Fifteen minutes later, lights out.

Since it’s just after 11 PM, I figure, no big deal. I’ll just go to bed.

I wake up the next morning, eager to see my bedside clock blinking to indicate we are back in business. No such luck. Still no power. This goes on for about 36 more hours. At first, it’s a fun adventure: Go out to breakfast, chat with the other locals about how crazy the weather is, head to the beach at high tide to watch the waves crash onto the parking area, drive around to see the result of Mother Nature’s power.

As I drive, I’m charging my cell phone in my car so I can still conduct client calls. (That didn’t happen). The initial excitement dies down and I head home. I lose track of how many light switches I habitually flick on, or go to respond to emails (thank goodness for my iPhone). Not so fun anymore.

Once again, I let go of my resistance and find I’m able to settle into the peacefulness of being almost entirely disconnected. I read at night by the soft light of a lantern. M and I chat about the day as a candle flickers on the table. It’s quiet. It’s still. It’s heavenly. Other than the house being a bit chilly, this isn’t so bad after all.

OK, I’ll admit it. I do a happy dance when I get home Saturday evening and see the outside light shining brightly. But I do intend on doing my best to introduce more of that stillness, that peacefulness into my days by disconnecting a little bit more.

Give it a shot. It’s enlightening (pun intended).

I love the movies. I love to be swept away in the fantasy, drama, comedy, and stories, true or fictional. I enjoy it even more since I found a handy little tool a couple years ago that helps me protect my sensitivity.

I’ve always been a highly sensitive person. As a young child, I cried – a lot. Or so it seemed. Not for any good or bad reason, but for both. I just really let my emotions come out. Then I learned that not everyone in the world is so willing to hear you cry as often as you’d like or need to, so I told myself that it was better to keep it to myself. But all that did was shape a belief that feelings are bad.

As I grew up, I learned to see my sensitivity as a real gift; a gift that allows me to be empathetic to others’ struggles, fears, and accomplishments; a gift that led me to the work I do today.

While it’s wonderful to be back in tune with and connected to my sensitivity, it also means needing to find ways to protect that part of me that feels things deeply and intensely; something that can be difficult to do while you’re sitting in a movie theater with all sorts of extreme imagery being shown on a gigantic screen!

Enter the nifty tool – the Parents’ Guide on the International Movie Database website. Interested in seeing a particular movie, but not sure how violent it is? The Parents’ Guide will tell you. Is the latest teen movie a bit too risque for your son or daughter? The Parents’ Guide will let you know. This great, little-known, feature details exactly how many instances of violence there are and what form they take, same with sexual scenes, cursing, and more.

Now, when someone recommends a movie or I see a preview that intrigues me, I’m always sure to check the guide in honor of protecting that wonderful, sensitive part of me that makes up so much of who I am.

What types of things do you do to protect your sensitivity? To take care of your soul’s needs?

Photo by BonoO

Curious to listen in on how a coach works? You’re in luck!

As a guest on two Hay House Radio programs, I talked about coaching and what it’s all about, and also coached callers live. If you’ve been curious to hear how a coach works with a client, here’s where you can get a taste. Enjoy!

I was invited to be a guest on Coach on Call, Cheryl Richardson’s weekly internet radio show with Hay House Radio. Cheryl and I talked with callers and helped them see things in a new way and work through some of their blocks. We had great fun together — a powerful experience helping people far and wide! I invite you to listen in by clicking the play button below.

I was also excited to join Psychic Medium John Holland on his radio show, Spirit Connections with Hay House Radio. Having never had a life coach on his program before, it was wonderful to share with his listeners the deep spiritual benefit of working with a coach. To listen, simply click the play button below.

To request a media interview or invite Kerri to be a guest on your show, please click here.

Photo by Tom Grinsted

Recently, I had plans to get together with friends. However, something came up at the last minute and we had to cancel. I was disappointed, but the cause was out of my hands. I found myself stewing, as I was looking forward to seeing them, and disappointing friends is not high on my priority list.

There I was, aggravated. After a bit, I thought, “Is my being annoyed going to change the fact that we had to cancel?” Nope, it sure isn’t.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we only had to learn each life lesson once? Like our good old friend, “resistance”. That little gem always causes such suffering, and seems to rear its head often.

I could have spent my entire evening disappointed, resisting the fact that we had to cancel, or I could accept what is and re-frame the scope of my night.

So, after some short-term pouting, I chose to accept the reality, and then I was able to enjoy a nice, relaxing evening at home.

You’ve probably heard the saying “What we resist, persists.” But, have you really thought about what that means? Think of it this way: Our suffering is most often caused by our resistance to what is. Go back and re-read that statement. Let it really sink in. Disliking the way things are right now, and spending your energy on disliking it, is never the answer in making it better.

Think about an area of your life that you wish was different, better, or easier. Now, honestly evaluate how much of the aggravation you feel is due to how much you don’t want that particular area to look or feel the way it currently does. When we resist so strongly something that is the truth for us right now, we keep an energetic tie to the undesired situation that can be difficult to break. The key to breaking it? Yup, you guessed it — Let It Be. Try releasing the choke-hold on how frustrating things currently seem, and not only will you feel some quick relief to your stress. but you’ll also be able to more easily come up with steps you can take to improve it. The last thing you want to do is resist your resistance.

I love the photo above. The shirt and sweatshirt together read, “Resist”, but zipper up the sweatshirt, and you get the word, “Rest.” When you don’t resist, you get to rest — and you get to be far more open to new opportunities and possibilities.

When you find yourself annoyed, aggravated, or hurt, stop and ask, “Is there anything I can do to change the reality of my current situation?” If not, recognize your suffering for what it is and give yourself permission to let go. If you are able to identify logical action steps to help you out of your dilemma, start by deciding which small, manageable move to make first.

So, what are you resisting?

Photo by L. Marie

Do you often find that no matter how hard you search to find it, time remains elusive? Feel like you don’t have the “oomph” you need? The culprit may be energy drains that are invisibly tugging at you each time you come across them or even think about them.

Imagine your day. You wake to the startling sound of a blasting alarm clock. You drag yourself out of bed and, like every other morning, trip over the stack of magazines on your bedroom floor. As you shuffle to the bathroom you grumble, “I’ve got to go through that pile.”

You enter the bathroom to splash much-needed water on your face, and are greeted by the drip, drip, drip, of the faucet. In the back of your mind you hear, “I’ve got to get that fixed.”

After you’re dressed and ready to go, you get into your car, pushing aside empty food containers and coffee cups to get to the seat. You start the engine, look at the dash, and notice – No gas!

Upon your arrival at work, the I-wake-up-talking co-worker greets you with any news of the day, including traffic and weather reports, even though your body language is clearly delivering the message that you’re not a morning person.

You get the picture. Can you pick out the energy drains listed in only the first hour of your day? Here’s a hint – they’re any part you read that made you feel aggravated.

The annoying sound of your alarm, the stack of magazines, the drip of the sink, the messy car, the empty fuel tank, and the chatty co-worker are playing a large part in what is depleting your energy day after day.

And it’s not only the annoyances present that are slowly sucking you of your life-force. It could also be what’s missing. Are you happy with the relationships in your life? Do you have a good, solid friend you can share time with and rely upon? Is your home environment just as you want it to be – filled with beauty, whatever that means to you?

To help you identify what energy drains are in your life, make a list of 10 things you are tolerating, such as the dripping sink or the messy car. Now make a second list of 10 things that need handling in your life, such as the dentist appointment you should make or the complaining friend you need to have a loving conversation with to get her to stop dumping on you.

Make a commitment to eliminate three things from your toleration list and two things from your need-to-be handled list every week. When the lists are done, make new ones. Before you know it, you’ll have more energy to spend time with those you love, to charge after those long held-off dreams and goals, and to take better care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Now imagine your day. You wake up to your favorite music. You climb out of bed and start the day with a full, deep breath and a nice, big stretch. You could walk to the bathroom with your eyes closed because you know there’s nothing you’ll trip over. You step into your beautiful bathroom that’s decorated just the way you like, and everything is in perfect working condition. You climb into your clean, fueled-up car and off you go to work where you have made your needs gracefully clear.

Don’t you feel lighter just thinking about it?

Image by Caitlinator

For those of you who haven’t met Juan Mann, allow me to introduce you to him. Juan is a man who was living in London when his world got turned upside down (he doesn’t specify how on his website) and he had to return to his home -– Australia. When he arrived home, he watched everyone on his flight being greeted by loved ones with open arms. He wanted someone out there to be happy to see him, to hug him. And so the Free Hugs Campaign was started. With a piece of cardboard and a black magic marker, he began asking for what he wanted. And what he found was a world full of people who needed the same -– to be seen and to be held, if only for a moment. His video went viral a few years back, but it’s definitely worth revisiting. I encourage you to read more at his site: www.freehugscampaign.org. You can see a moving video of his “experiment” below:

I just love this idea. Really, there aren’t many things that feel better than a hug – a real, strong, longer than a millisecond, hug. Naturally, I had to put this to the test. A few years back, I decided to head to the State House here in Massachusetts on a day when people from opposite sides of a heated issue were gathering to make their positions known. It was the constitutional convention when the legislature came together to possibly vote on a ban on same-sex marriage. I wanted to go and show my support for what I believe in, but I hesitated, not wanting to be faced with what I thought would be negativity and anger – from both sides.

Perfect, I thought. Here’s a way I can participate while also diffusing the situation a bit. Off I went with my newly-created FREE HUGS sign. And hugs I got! From people on both sides of the street. Even from some legislators. Yes, some people were not interested in my invitation (grumpy state police officer!), but the smiles that came across everyone’s faces who participated, including mine, were priceless. I’ll take 100 rejections for just one acceptance and the feeling of compassion and connectedness that comes with it.

I encourage you, the next time you’re at a public event, or in your own downtown, to bring along a sign and spread some love!

When I was a child, my 8th grade English teacher — lovingly named Mr. Devine — had a wonderful and magical way of teaching his students about the power of words. He was the type of teacher you’d see in the movies — he made up songs to help us remember the parts of speech and what their jobs were, and he made us eager to be involved and present for the lessons. During quizzes and tests, we’d all be tapping our pencils, singing his songs to ourselves, to answer the posed questions. When he asked for volunteers to come up to the board to diagram a sentence, arms would be flapping in the air, each of us trying to raise ours higher than our neighbor’s in hope of being selected. I looked forward to his class every day. He was engaging, energetic, eager, and excited. Whoa, he’d be proud of my alliteration right there.

He made me hungry, at that young age, for more knowledge about the power of the written message, the order of words, and the pictures that could be painted with adjectives. Thanks to Mr. Devine, I went on to college to study Journalism and Writing. While working as the Managing Editor of a magazine for just under 10 years, I so enjoyed working with novice and experienced writers alike to help them overcome fears, blocks, and time constraints so they could move toward their goals of making writing more a part of their world.

Today, as a life coach and writing coach, I’m thrilled to be able to continue to do so. And now, it’s your turn!

Have you always dreamed of writing a book? Are you interested in blogging in an effort to share your message? Do you get stuck because you feel like you have nothing to say?

Can anyone really be a writer? The answer is YES! Whether you’re looking to do a blog, write articles for various magazines and other publications, or write a book and have it published, a big part of the process is knowing where and how to start.

I’d love for you to join me for a two-hour, interactive, discussion on Putting Yourself Out There — in Writing, being held on Thursday, March 4, 2010 from 7 PM-9PM ET, at Circles of Wisdom in Andover, MA. During this interactive workshop, we’ll be talking about common writing blocks, identifying underlying beliefs that are stopping you in your tracks, as well as the practical how-to knowledge of getting started, pitching your idea, and pursuing publication.

For only $35 per person, participants will leave with new-found confidence in their ability to share their writing, knowledge on how to do just that, an action plan to get, or keep, things rolling, as well as great resources related to publishing. Oh, and you’ll get a copy of the Parts of Speech jingle, too!

Class size is limited to 40 people, so be sure to register as soon as possible. To do so, visit Circles of Wisdom or call the store at (978) 474-8010. I look forward to seeing you there!

Growing up, I lived next to Woodsy’s, a corner store and deli. The owner of the store, Dixie, was an elderly man who suffered from severe arthritis, so much so that the kids in the neighborhood referred to his hands as claws (fortunately, not to his face).

Dixie gave me my first job at the age of 9. He had an ice machine in his store, and he would bag the ice to sell it. With the toll the arthritis had taken on his hands, he needed some help bagging because he couldn’t maneuver the twist tie. I was thrilled when he offered me the job – for a whole 50 cents an hour.

On my first day, Dixie taught me the secret of the twist tie. “Pinch and twist, Kerri. Pinch and twist. That’ll get you the best closure.” I remember wanting to do a really good job, and as I closed each bag, I’d repeat the mantra to myself – “Pinch and twist. Pinch and twist.” I had finished about 10 bags when he first came to check on me. “Wow!” he exclaimed. “You’re doing a great job! You’ve gotten a lot done. Now, let’s check out the tying job.” I remember feeling a moment of trepidation. “Oh, I hope I did it right,” I thought. “Kerri, I must say, “ Dixie continued, “this is some of the best pinching and twisting I’ve seen in a long time! I’m sure lucky to have you helping me.”

Now, was it really the best pinching and twisting he had seen? Surely not, as I saw him re-securing some bags as he put them in the ice chest for sale, but his appreciation and reassurance made me want to do an even better job for him. It warmed my heart to help him, and he made me feel significant and seen every time I was with him.

At the end of my “shift”, which was always as long or as short as I liked, he’d offer me my pay right from the register, or I had the option of taking home some sweets for payment. I remember almost always opting for the sweet reward, and without fail, I’d choose a soda (often either Mountain Dew, orange soda, or grape soda) and Suzy Q’s; he’d sometimes throw in a candy bar, too. Come to think of it, I’ve read that we often crave certain foods in an attempt to relive a fond memory or time from our past where we ate that food. A-ha! So, it’s not the Suzy Q’s I’m craving as an adult; it’s the special time with Dixie.

I love to think about the people who came into my life as a child and made a lasting impression, whether it was my 8th grade English teacher (aptly named Mr. Devine) who helped me fall in love with the power of words through his Parts of Speech songs, or my best friend from grammar school, Amy Consigli, who you could always count on for a warm greeting and a friendly smile. And dear, sweet Dixie – one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. Although he traveled quite a difficult road in his life, he still managed to make this little girl feel pretty special.

Image by Engage-toi

A few years back, I visited Miraval Resort and Spa –- a beautiful, luxury destination that focuses on physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I knew, in planning my trip, that I wanted to test my limits.

The most obvious test came when I decided to tackle The Climbing Wall, one of Miraval’s Challenge Course activities -– an outdoor wall that’s meant to mimic rock climbing. Standing back from the wall and looking at it as a whole, it looked relatively easy -– despite the 32-foot height (gulp!). OK. Yup, I see pegs that I can stand on and hold, foot holes in the wall where I can step. So it’s just a different kind of ladder. No big deal.

There I am, all geared up, on belay and ready to go. I start my ascent. I climb with such grace and ease –- for the first three feet or so. I now find myself right up against the wall, only able to see the pegs and foot holes directly in front of me. Hmmm. Talk about not being able to see the forest for the trees. Yeah, yeah, I get the metaphor.

So here I am, in a pretty vulnerable position (not a comfortable state for me!), hanging from a rope, held by a complete stranger –- who, by the way, is acting as a belayer for the first time in her life -– and I must trust those on the ground to tell me where to step next. Oh, yeah, great idea, Kerri. You couldn’t have just challenged yourself to get an extra massage today?

I continue my ascent, ever so s-l-o-w-l-y, where I then reach a point where I feel like I can go no further. No, literally. I can’t see any nearby peg or foot hole to go after. Ohhh, so here’s the trust part. Yuk. The helpful classmates on the ground below are doing their best to convince me that there is a peg right at my left knee, and if I can shift my weight and push myself up by my right leg, while simultaneously reaching for a hole above my head, I can get my left foot on that invisible peg. Did those instructions sound unclear to you? Try being the one on the wall! Here I am contemplating my next move:

“No,” I say. “This is it for me. I can’t go any further.”

“Are you sure?” says Jim, the really wonderful instructor (truly).

I pause. “OK, that pause tells me you’d like to keep going,” Jim says.

Damn pause.

I stand still for a moment, doing some deep breathing on Jim’s suggestion. “Just try it, Kerri,” I tell myself. “Just give it a shot.” OK, here I go… Shift my weight, push up with my right foot, reach, and….. I slip right off the wall.

The good news? The rookie belayer doesn’t let me plummet to my death. The other good news? I now have solid evidence that I can trust her. I’m now more determined than ever to try that next step again.

I get myself to the same spot and get really quiet. I breathe and start pumping myself up in my head. “I’m not giving up. I’ll get to that peg I can’t see. I’m not leaving this wall until I do.” I make the move again and find my footing weak, so come back to position. I pause for just a second or two and lunge once again. I shift, I push, I reach and … I did it! Everyone down below cheers. I feel fantastic! I both can and can’t believe I really did it.

Although this was the end of my climb (I was physically and emotionally exhausted), I got to the point on the wall that was my minimum goal, so I was pretty darn impressed with myself.

Jeanette (aka, “the rookie belayer”) eases me down off my perch until I’m safely back on the ground. High fives all around as Jim says “So what did you learn up there?” The first thing that comes out of my mouth is, “Well, I can push myself further than I thought I could.”

“That’s great,” Jim says. “I encourage you to remember that statement in all areas of your life.”

And I do. Whether it’s during a workout on the elliptical or taking the risk to deepen a friendship by bringing conversations beyond chit chat, I try and remember to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone because the feeling on the other side is always worth it.