Kerri Richardson

Recently, I had plans to get together with friends. However, something came up at the last minute and we had to cancel. I was disappointed, but the cause was out of my hands. I found myself stewing, as I was looking forward to seeing them, and disappointing friends is not high on my priority list.

There I was, aggravated. After a bit, I thought, “Is my being annoyed going to change the fact that we had to cancel?” Nope, it sure isn’t.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we only had to learn each life lesson once? Like our good old friend, “resistance”. That little gem always causes such suffering, and seems to rear its head often.

I could have spent my entire evening disappointed, resisting the fact that we had to cancel, or I could accept what is and re-frame the scope of my night.

So, after some short-term pouting, I chose to accept the reality, and then I was able to enjoy a nice, relaxing evening at home.

You’ve probably heard the saying “What we resist, persists.” But, have you really thought about what that means? Think of it this way: Our suffering is most often caused by our resistance to what is. Go back and re-read that statement. Let it really sink in. Disliking the way things are right now, and spending your energy on disliking it, is never the answer in making it better.

Think about an area of your life that you wish was different, better, or easier. Now, honestly evaluate how much of the aggravation you feel is due to how much you don’t want that particular area to look or feel the way it currently does. When we resist so strongly something that is the truth for us right now, we keep an energetic tie to the undesired situation that can be difficult to break. The key to breaking it? Yup, you guessed it — Let It Be. Try releasing the choke-hold on how frustrating things currently seem, and not only will you feel some quick relief to your stress. but you’ll also be able to more easily come up with steps you can take to improve it. The last thing you want to do is resist your resistance.

I love the photo above. The shirt and sweatshirt together read, “Resist”, but zipper up the sweatshirt, and you get the word, “Rest.” When you don’t resist, you get to rest — and you get to be far more open to new opportunities and possibilities.

When you find yourself annoyed, aggravated, or hurt, stop and ask, “Is there anything I can do to change the reality of my current situation?” If not, recognize your suffering for what it is and give yourself permission to let go. If you are able to identify logical action steps to help you out of your dilemma, start by deciding which small, manageable move to make first.

So, what are you resisting?

Photo by L. Marie

Do you often find that no matter how hard you search to find it, time remains elusive? Feel like you don’t have the “oomph” you need? The culprit may be energy drains that are invisibly tugging at you each time you come across them or even think about them.

Imagine your day. You wake to the startling sound of a blasting alarm clock. You drag yourself out of bed and, like every other morning, trip over the stack of magazines on your bedroom floor. As you shuffle to the bathroom you grumble, “I’ve got to go through that pile.”

You enter the bathroom to splash much-needed water on your face, and are greeted by the drip, drip, drip, of the faucet. In the back of your mind you hear, “I’ve got to get that fixed.”

After you’re dressed and ready to go, you get into your car, pushing aside empty food containers and coffee cups to get to the seat. You start the engine, look at the dash, and notice – No gas!

Upon your arrival at work, the I-wake-up-talking co-worker greets you with any news of the day, including traffic and weather reports, even though your body language is clearly delivering the message that you’re not a morning person.

You get the picture. Can you pick out the energy drains listed in only the first hour of your day? Here’s a hint – they’re any part you read that made you feel aggravated.

The annoying sound of your alarm, the stack of magazines, the drip of the sink, the messy car, the empty fuel tank, and the chatty co-worker are playing a large part in what is depleting your energy day after day.

And it’s not only the annoyances present that are slowly sucking you of your life-force. It could also be what’s missing. Are you happy with the relationships in your life? Do you have a good, solid friend you can share time with and rely upon? Is your home environment just as you want it to be – filled with beauty, whatever that means to you?

To help you identify what energy drains are in your life, make a list of 10 things you are tolerating, such as the dripping sink or the messy car. Now make a second list of 10 things that need handling in your life, such as the dentist appointment you should make or the complaining friend you need to have a loving conversation with to get her to stop dumping on you.

Make a commitment to eliminate three things from your toleration list and two things from your need-to-be handled list every week. When the lists are done, make new ones. Before you know it, you’ll have more energy to spend time with those you love, to charge after those long held-off dreams and goals, and to take better care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Now imagine your day. You wake up to your favorite music. You climb out of bed and start the day with a full, deep breath and a nice, big stretch. You could walk to the bathroom with your eyes closed because you know there’s nothing you’ll trip over. You step into your beautiful bathroom that’s decorated just the way you like, and everything is in perfect working condition. You climb into your clean, fueled-up car and off you go to work where you have made your needs gracefully clear.

Don’t you feel lighter just thinking about it?

Image by Caitlinator

Does everyone have one? A box or a drawer filled with watches whose batteries have long since died? I forget about mine until I go to choose a watch to wear, always to find my only option is gold. What’s a girl to do if her outfit calls for a sporty one? Or, heaven for bid, silver? Usually I opt to go without. But I walk away frustrated.

Sure, there are worse problems in the world, but sometimes it’s the little things like this that just nag at you. Every time I open that drawer in my jewelry armoire – enter aggravation.

I remember one December years ago, Missy got the batteries replaced in my favorite watches, wrapped them up, and gave them to me for Christmas. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. She laughed it off, thinking it was silly to wrap them up like they were new. What she didn’t realize is that what she actually wrapped up in those boxes were thoughtfulness, relief, evidence of my really being seen by her, and the remedy for the consistent loss of energy around the dead watches. I felt like I had gotten a huge energy transfusion!

Hmm, my intention was to write a quick, quirky entry, but perhaps there’s a moral to this story after all. Maybe consider this a sign to think differently about the gifts you give others this holiday season and all year ’round. How about instead of a gift card or candle, there’s a project you could help a loved one finish – or begin. Is there an event your Mom, Dad, brother, sister, or best friend would love to go to, and going with you would make it even more special? There’s no gift more precious than your time (and if my batteries were replaced in my watches, I could tell you the time).

Image by alexkerhead